Rediscovering your sense of SELF after a divorce can be one of the most vital and challenging journeys that you will experience. In your marriage, you may have relied on your “we”, your partnership, to such a degree that your sense of SELF, or your “I” took a backseat.
During marriage, there may be the assumption, conscious or unconscious, that you can be “saved” by your spouse. When a marriage dissolves, that safe harbor is lost with it. If your value and sense of security was too dependent on your attachment to your spouse, it can be very frightening to envision life on your own.
In order to, heal and rebuild your identity, you must gain the courage to take responsibility for your own life and you underdeveloped independence.
Wake Up Call
The collapse of your marriage is not an accident. In order to understand it you must view it from the perspective of a greater purpose and not just an event to “get over.” The pain that you are experiencing should be used as a catalyst to reinvent your SELF.
Starting The Process
Ultimately the process of rediscovering your “I” will get you from ruin to renewal, but it requires a significant amount of introspection, which may stem as far back as the parent/child relationship where you learned the basic concepts of love.
In my next blog post, I’ll dig deeper into some common reasons for your underdeveloped “I”.