The counseling you need to:

Grieve your loss. 

Identify past relationship mistakes and replace them with new behaviors that get results. 

Learn the ingredients of a long-term, stable relationship with my relationship model

Yours, Mine, Ours: Partnership Done Right

I believe in permanent solutions. 

My first step will be to help you to feel like you can face the world again.

But, your broken heart will heal way beyond that.

We will identify the problematic dependencies and the baggage that you brought into your relationship and replace it with more effective behaviour.  

Next, I will teach you my relationship model Yours, Mine, Ours: Romantic Relationships Done Right.  This knowledge will help you “divorce-proof” your future relationships.

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In our first sessions together, we’ll talk about what happened in your divorce, and get to the bottom of the REAL problems that caused it.

Something like money may have seemed like the surface issue that caused it but we get down to the real ways you and your spouse interacted with each other, your own individual unhealthy relationship dependencies, and how those eventually triggered your breakup.

This way, you’ll no longer need a partner to fill you up where you lack. You’ll be able to fill yourself up, and have far healthier relationships because of it.

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After that, I walk you through my “Yours, Mine, Ours” model of relationship communication and help you find ways to practice it in all of your relationships—romantic or not.

This empowers you to know how to avoid the pitfalls that led to divorce in your previous marriage, and to virtually “divorce-proof” yourself if and when you decide to get married again.

To avoid the statistic that even more second and marriages fail than first marriages, and to be in happy, loving, giving, kind relationships for the rest of your life.

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Clients who work with me report amazing satisfaction with their post-divorce lives, and become happier than they’d ever thought they’d be again, faster than they thought they’d get there. 

The therapy model I use works so well because I’ve spent 35 years working in divorce therapy, doing my own research, reading ALL the research-based literature on the subject, and coaching clients through the single most transformative experiences of their lives.

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"My journey started with a discreet mission – whether or not to stay in my marriage, but it took on larger meaning as I worked with Dr. Hecker. It became a path to self-realization – still ongoing and sometimes difficult, but greatly rewarding"

Gloria J.

"Dr. Hecker has a tremendous work ethic. She offered insights by connecting comments I had made over the span of several sessions or several months. Perhaps you will think this is what every therapist does but in talking with friends, I have learned that Dr. Hecker’s familiarity and grasp of my personal narrative is unusual"

Dave M.
Washington, DC

"Being part of a couple can sometimes be difficult because you always have to be considerate of your partner’s feelings. I never thought it would happen but my partner and I learned to brainstorm together. "

Roger T.

"Dr. Hecker has helped me believe in myself. I understand now that within the context of attachment to others, I am still my own person, able to maintain my own identity. Dr. Hecker has helped me realize that my self worth is not measured by what my partner thinks of me, but rather my ability to depend on myself."

Kristie H.