Meet Dr. Deborah Hecker, Ph.D.

It's been nearly 20 years since my marriage cracked open on a sunny summer afternoon. I was devastated and panic-stricken at the thought of being on my own. Flying solo as a parent of two young daughters, the primary money and decision-maker -- much less starting another serious relationship -- were terrifying thoughts. I was caught between holding on and knowing I had to face (what felt like) the nightmare of being single. Many sleepless nights followed.

Despite my professional training and the many clinical hours I had worked, I soon realized how completely ill-prepared I felt to confront the dread of standing on my own two feet. What I needed, and couldn't find, was someone whose expertise would help me to ride the initial shock waves of divorce.

During the throes of coming to grips with my own divorce and reinventing myself, I fell down countless times. Each time that I found the courage to get up, I gained wisdom that propelled me forward. In addition, I spent numerous hours researching the literature on divorce, and in so doing, I developed a solid grasp of the psychology of the separation process. I'm savvy about what a person has to go through to make it to the other side; that's how I successfully help other people transition today.

Now I run a nationwide phone-counseling service for divorce recovery. With three decades of private psychotherapy experience, my divorce counseling has helped hundreds of people face their challenges and build successful lives. My practice has been profiled in The Washington Post and Harper's Bazaar as well as on TV and radio.

With my training in mediation and Collaborative Divorce as well as psychology, I use an interdisciplinary approach. Attorneys and therapists have the same helping goal, but they speak different languages. Divorce lawyers can be aggressive, but clients' aggression may cause poor legal judgment. I move between legal and psychological perspectives to make them more compatible.

It is my goal to make certain that you avoid some of the pitfalls and danger signals that I overlooked with my former personal confusion. Indeed, it is precisely because of my personal pain and my professional knowledge that I am confident I can help you face your fears and become a more self-determining person.

Living on my own was not my choice, as it may not be yours. The emotional disarray I experienced in going it alone led me on a mission to learn as much as I could about the transition from being part of a couple to living on my own successfully.

My objective is to give you the best possible assistance at the time you need it the most by helping you to normalize this journey.