Counseling is a constructive way of coping with divorce.

Although most people can easily acknowledge that divorce is an incredibly traumatic life event that has a ripple effect on nearly every aspect of the divorcing person’s life, many divorcing individuals still have trouble seeking professional counseling.  While the societal stigma attached to psychotherapy is much diminished, some people struggle with familial or cultural views that hold that seeking counseling is a weakness.  In reality, it is a sign of strength, intelligence, and maturity to learn new and different ways of doing things when the old methods aren’t working.

Individuals going through divorce often find that the coping skills they’ve developed over the years leading up to the event are not sufficient to handle the confusing plethora of intense emotions that accompany separation and divorce.  That realization and the struggle to deal with the situation often leads to behaviors that can be destructive or constructive in nature.  Destructive coping mechanisms include use or alcohol and/or drugs, jumping into inappropriate romantic relationships, and unsafe or even illegal demonstrations of anger.  Constructive coping mechanisms include asking for support from family and friends, getting more exercise, meditating, and seeking counseling.

Attempting to handle divorce alone may make you feel stronger in the short term, but it will almost certainly delay your recovery.  It may also keep you from achieving a new level of psychological and emotional growth that would greatly enhance your life.  Since it’s difficult to see the next step of a journey until you’re actually on the road, taking that first step is all-important.  In the journey of divorce recovery, the first step is calling a counselor for an initial session, which some therapists offer for free.

The first session of divorce counseling is a very easy, non-threatening discussion of your particular situation and what you hope to achieve in therapy.  The counselor will also help you understand the basics of her practice and what you can expect from working with her.  In general, a divorce counselor helps you learn more about your own feelings, thoughts, and desires, which have usually been suppressed in the effort to make the marriage work.  The counselor also teaches you short-term coping skills to manage the overwhelming pain and despair inherit in the end of an important relationship.

As therapy continues, a divorce counselor will help you deal with your emotions as you navigate the legal terrain of divorce.  A side benefit of therapy is that this often helps individuals make better decisions about how to proceed in court.  As you grieve the loss of your marriage and realize that you will survive this event, you will learn how and when to assert yourself and ask for what you want and need.  You will also begin to see the benefits of your new status as a single person.

Newly-acquired singlehood brings up feelings of fear at first, but your single status is also accompanied by a degree of freedom that may be unprecedented in your adult life.  Without counseling, it is often difficult for divorcing people to realize this, because they are out of touch with their unique individual gifts.  Therapy helps you become aware of these qualities and how you can use them to create a happier, more fulfilling life for yourself.

Divorce therapy is not meant to last forever, though you can attend sessions for as long as you feel you need them.  Most people terminate therapy when they arrive at a level of transformation from which they are comfortable proceeding on their own.  The new skills and strengths you have developed will make it possible for you to create a happy, successful, and fulfilling life after divorce.

If you are struggling with divorce now, a happy life may seem impossible, but the first step is only a phone call away.  Call 888-777-3585 to schedule a free initial consultation.

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