Money issues can both cause divorces and, in the current economy, prevent them.

Divorce is becoming increasingly expensive in today’s society, particularly in the current economy.  Attorney’s fees and the cost of setting up two households with a budget that might be stretching to cover one is a complication many people who are considering divorce are experiencing.  Individuals are remaining in unhappy marriages due to financial pressure at unprecedented rates – though the US economy has experienced difficulties in the past, divorce was much less socially acceptable during those hard times and was not the option it is today.

The stress of staying in a marriage in which one feels stifled and miserable is taking its toll on many individuals and their families.  Tempers flare, addictions increase, and fights accelerate.  Tremendous pressure is created for both spouses, whether only one or both wants to separate, and for their children.  This stress may feed into other parts of each person’s life, such as at work and in their friendships.  Added to this pressure is the fact that professional counseling is often forgone due to the necessary investment in time and fees.

Because of the potential for trouble in this heated situation, though, it is very important for one or both parties in a disintegrating marriage to seek professional divorce counseling.  Individuals can tell themselves that the difficult economy is only temporary, but the fact is that months or years of troubled times at home can have lasting effects on family member’s lives.  This is particularly true for children, who may later remember incidents and feelings from these trying times with particular clarity and assign more value to them than their parents expect.

As in the popular metaphor of placing an airflow mask on one’s own face before attending to one’s child on an airline flight in which a sudden decrease in cabin pressure is experienced, parents must provide for their own emotional safety in order to be capable of properly caring for their children.  Stressed, anxious parents who are suffocating in their marriages – who often describe themselves as feeling as if they are “dying” – must care for themselves emotionally and psychologically in order to have energy for their children and the ability to reassure them of a loving and secure future.

In addition to helping themselves and their children through the immediate difficulties of maintaining a household in which one or both members of a couple are desperately unhappy, divorcing individuals and those who hope to divorce must consider their futures.  This seems particularly hard during tough economic times; people are often focused only on ensuring that immediate financial needs are met.  But individuals who are committed to divorcing at some point must plan ahead, and that means putting money aside, establishing their own credit, and investigating their legal options even while they continue to live with their soon-to-be-ex spouses.  A divorce counselor is extremely helpful in this regard, as people considering a life transition such as divorce often struggle with the process of considering what their life as a single person will be like and how they will navigate this new and often unfamiliar terrain.

The recession is causing many individuals to put off divorce until their personal finances and the economy at large improve, but those who intend to divorce when the recession ends simply cannot afford to put their financial and emotional lives on hold until that happens.

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